the view from here

it’s the end of july.

can you believe it?

I am sitting in my yard today, somewhat baffled by the speed this life is taking me on.  As I reflect on this past month, the magnitude of what’s happened  somewhat overwhelms me.

One late Seattle evening, as the sun was out late, some friends and I went out for a little sunset paddle in the Puget Sound.  The waves moved our kayak up and down, the sun crept lower til the mountains engulfed it, and I seemed to be still.  Out in the middle of the water, without a care in the world.

I long for that particular moment, that particular beauty yet again.

life seemed distant on the shore.

kayak

on dry land all I can think of is the whirlwind of what’s transpired this month.

the zillion stories I could tell:

there was the magic of the last night of our annual rafting trip with the high school youth group.  the girls ditched our rainfly and we all settled into our sleeping bags under the night sky.  we witnessed god’s creation in the surprise of a shooting star.  they grew closer, shared boldly, played and laughed like children who got to swim through a whirlpool!

I got home and immediately flew east to spend time with my family.  first boston, then on the jersey shore.  short version: ate delicious food.  swam. contemplated big things, like which ice cream flavor I would select.  had great conversations with family and friends.  bought two new dresses at the marimekko sale and got addicted to the tv show scandal.

then back home where Seattle greeted me with amazing summer weather.  I jumped into teaching vbs at church and kicking off summer youth group.

I also got a text, which lead to a conversation that I won’t ever forget. one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had, one where I ask God why the world’s so broken. yet, at the same time, my throat gets a bit shaky as I recall a special 15 yo girl thanking me and telling me I changed her life. she has no idea that I feel just the same way.  It all seems easy compared to that day.

then, I go to the doctor, which I abhor.  I found a not-so-small-lump in the midst of all this, on my left side. one Thursday afternoon, my surgeon tells me its coming out asap, the next day.  {fyi, getting a shot makes me dissolve and hyperventilate.}  Making matters worse is the reality of that weekend is B’s bridal shower, and suddenly I’m on pain meds.  A zillion friends stepped in to take care of the party, and of me.  And the pain meds kept me sleeping or laughing.  Suddenly I’m watching the entire series of Scandal on Hulu, until my doctor calls and tells me it’s benign.

And now it’s today.   the end of July.  I’m in the yard on an Adirondack, first day slightly off my big pain meds thinking about all that’s gone on.

I’m here, on the shore, blissfully dreaming of it all.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “the view from here

  1. Oh Danielle this reflection is so so beautiful and touching and full of that gorgeous heart of yours. I found tears in my eyes at the good news at the end too – so thankful for you for all that God has and is doing in your life…love that I get to know you a bit on this earth too such a gift! xoxo

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