continuing through

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“Another year over. . . and a new one just begun.”

I feel that I managed to navigate the holidays well this year. Just before thanksgiving I made a list of all our major events, and what would need to be purchased and accomplished for each one. Then I started tackling things one at a time, and I think I got about 95% of the things done. One Christmas gift didn’t quite get finished and there were a couple of details for our engagement party I would have loved to include, but in the end I felt that I managed to get through everything while maintaining much more sanity than the last couple of years. I really wanted to get through the holiday season and be able to spend some intentional time with those that mean the most to me: friends, family, and my wonderful fiance. Sometimes Erik only gets to spend time with the crazy version of Brianne over the holidays.

But, somehow, even though I navigated the holiday waters successfully and made many wonderful memories to cherish, I have come out on the other side still feeling overwhelmed and intimidated. I’m back in Virginia with Erik this week and mostly i’ve slept, read, but with still a nagging feeling of “to do” whispering in my ear. This time of year there is just SO MUCH. So much review of the year, so much talk of whats to come, recaps, favorites, you name it. Its so easy to feel that with this transition to a new year on the calendar comes a list of responsibilities and thoughts.

I’m beginning to think I’m not the type of person who classifies things by year. Life feels so fluid, constant, and ever moving that I guess to me if feels arbitrary to put a stop point on it. I won’t feel differently as I wake up tomorrow then when I drunkenly fall asleep tonight (there is a bottle of champagne in the fridge with my name one it ;). I think I almost feel more transition from summer to fall, and I’m sure this is due to 22 years of school schedule, but I feel that with that crispness of weather after the freedom of summer is a better time for me to evaluate priorities and get focused.

And of course, there were many amazing moments in 2012. I’ll never forget that this year I committed to marrying the love of my life. But I don’t feel that I have to bottle up what happened in the year and just leave it there. All these things are just supplements to what came before and what is still to come, not so isolated as the recaps and previews make you feel.

So I don’t think this year I’m going to do any big rehashing of what we accomplished physically in our house, travels, and especially this blog. There are important things to remember, but thats what the archives and the search bars are far. The most important thing that happened here is the community that grew and thats something that was before and will continue to be in one fluid project, not separated by months or years.

I do have one sparkly little project I’d like to share (even though its really much too late), and some favorite images captured through the year but overall I’m just feeling overwhelmed by all the stuff out there this week. I want to set my sights on goals ahead and reflect thankfully on special moments but without that major effort that the New Year can sometimes bring. This is a moment in time just like any other, and it shouldn’t have to feel weightier or more intimidating than any other moment.

 

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3 thoughts on “continuing through

  1. I couldn’t have said it better than myself. I feel the change of seasons more than the new year too and so far, i’m not feeling anything “new” about 2013 and I have no desire to make a giant list of goals…blah. Perhaps I’m just really unmotivated. :)

  2. Sometimes the feeling of being overwhelmed doesn’t come from the actual tasks and responsibilities we have but from the mental clutter that occupies our minds. For example, if you are at work and you start to mentally run through all of the things that need to get done once you leave the office; you need to get on the phone to reschedule a dentist appointment, pick up your kids from daycare, pay the electric bill, and then take your car to the auto shop, then you’ve already added to the pressure of those events by running them over and over in your head.

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