Au Revoir, 2011!
What a whirlwind the last two weeks have been, eh? D and I both fluttered around from celebration to celebration and while it was exhilarating, festive, and wonderful, I think we both needed this last week to recoup. She’s at home in Seattle while I took a few days to fly back to Virginia with Erik in order to spend some quality post-holiday time. I’ve spent a couple days being totally lazy and a couple days with one of my best college friends and roommates exploring and seeing some new things. Its been refreshing.
Since we’re taking some time for reflection, I’ll go ahead and share some of my overall thoughts on 2011 as well. One of my biggest goals for the year was to simplify and slow down. In some ways I think I achieved that. I cut back on a lot of week night distractions and made it a point to come home, eat a good meal, take some time for myself, and (try to) go to bed early. The go to bed early part didn’t always happen, but I think overall I felt less stressed out and frantic.
But sometimes I think this simplification led to other complications. I think my activities and obligations sometimes prove to be a good distraction from larger things weighing on my mind. Namely: my relationship. I don’t feel like I get into it a lot here, because this blog is about home projects and recipes and DIY, but my relationship with Erik is obviously also a huge part of my life. I often make light of the fact that we’re in a long distance relationship by joking about travel stress or giving brief snippits of my travel to see him.
But man, oh man, is it so hard. And you know whats the hardest? More difficult than missing him when he can’t come home, or saying goodbye when he has to leave. The hardest is just the waiting. I think this was the year where that was really the hardest, because it was right smack dab in the middle of his contract. He won’t be out of the Navy until early 2014 and we don’t know if or when it will ever be feasible to be in the same city before then. Its likely that sometime in the next year he will be deployed, so whats the point of me moving there just to have him leave me alone in an unfamiliar city? It just doesn’t make sense.
But back to the waiting. Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in a perpetual countdown. That I’m just ticking through 2011, 2012, and 2013 waiting for that day to come when the weight will be lifted. And that makes me so sad because while I miss him so much I don’t want to look back on this important time in my life and feel like I had my eyes closed just trying to get through it.
When I look back on 2011 there were some pretty amazing things that remind me that this isn’t the case. A new great project at work, some new great friends both in person and from this blog, fun trips with family and friends. I know there will be many great memories made in 2012 and beyond and my goal is just to not see these as a distraction from passing time but as milestones along the path that God is setting out for both Erik and I. All of these things will make us the people we are when we finally can be in the same city, and I can’t forget how important that is. These are all photos of some of the sunsets we shared together this year to remind myself that even though the days and weeks stretch long, there is a slow and wonderful glow in the time.
So – enough mushy talk for a couple days. We’ll be back with some recap of fun stuff that happened in 2011 and also what we’re psyched about for the coming year. Thank you all for being so supportive of the two of us both in this space and in real life. Its been a weird and disorienting year but I think things are starting to fall into place!